I serve, Nuffnang

Friday 25 November 2011

wise whisperings

U know a wise man once told me that

Every great mountains moved by moving the smallest stone.

So yeah i am moving a mountain

It’s actually a metaphor if you haven’t noticed. I have no real mountains to move.

So it’s decided.

I SHOULD STOP SLACKINGGGG

SEE I M ACTUALLY AWAKE IN THE MORNING

4 O CLOCK IN THE MORNING WHEN EVERYONE IS ASLEEP.

Dad’s in phillipines so that doesnt count for EVERYBODY.

Forget that, i seriously am the worst person on this planet.

SOMETIMES I wonder why am i even breathing?!

IF I SPEND SLACKING EVERYDAY?!

This has to come to an end i told myself.

TODAY IS ALREADY FRIDAY AND THERE ARE LIKE 6 DAYS LEFT BEFORE NOVEMBER FUCKING ENDS.

HAVE TO MOVE MY FUCKING ARSE OFF THE COMPUTER AND THE SMARTPHONES…. I SHOULD START STUDYING FOR THISS MAJOR EXAM NEXT YEAR

it’s in CAPS LOCK

YES

FUCKING WORK IT OUT VENETIA WONG SHIN YEE !

U WEREN’T LIKE THAT BEFORE ?!?!?!?!!!!!!!

Y U NO STUDY ?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

OK CUT THE DRAMA

lights off.

x

Wednesday 23 November 2011

http://pixlr.com/o-matic/

CAN’T SLEEP

STILL WIDE AWAKE.

WHY?

Because i’ve been on a power nap for 4 hours this afternoon.. so.. yea

I waz checkin out on this cool app on the WEB , tried out . to kill time

 

venn1

check out yo !

house is in a big mess. probably because of all the massive planning stuff going on

Look at my fat hands !

v2

another filter color. not nice

v5'

obviously.

i gained weight . sadly

no more sharpchin going on

x

Saturday 19 November 2011

TYPICAL

sometimes i would wish that i own this STARBUCKS company.

then i would have coffee everyday whenever i wish to .

Last day of school just ended 23 hours ago. It’s saturday, the usual days of it i would have spent with the curricular activities… oh well. but today i woke up around 10:30 am, laying around under the sun shining through the curtains.

What a blissful morning i thought. Got up, freshen up and scooped with a book i bought.

Heaven i tell you.

the government paid us each rm100 .. every student except the form5-ers. I do appreciate it a lot better than nothing right, i so don’t get those girls crapping bout how would they have spent their rm100 fast… and how little amount the Government had given us. Hey get a grip, this is the first time we got something, and it’s quite a big step towards the future. We might not be Singapore or the european countries but we might be like them one day so… just suck it up and cherish it alright .

Last day, hell it was fun

There arent pictures enough to express what i felt bout yesterday.

Now playing :

WE FOUND LOVE

We do found love in a hopeless place.

The first day of school was… hectic during January. With everything new and new people new atmosphere. Form 4 wasn’t exactly the honeymoon year i would recommend you to fool around. It wasn’t.

I would say it’s a starter. and the courses of meals kept coming afterwards.

Later on with the KRS training camp

with Phoebe and the gang…

james and bernard oo

1 MALAYSIA CHARITY RIDE.

YE …

gotten my salary n bonus !

the concert !

all of us glammed up just for one night after thousand of practices

EVERYTHING

FOR THESE 11 MONTHS

happy nor sad

it came to an end.

not tragically

but ended beautifully

:)

cheers.

WE will definately meet again, next year right.

GOODBYE 2011 SCHOOL DAYS

X.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday 14 November 2011

灾难的预兆

从来不会想到我叛逆的那一天。

刚刚在FACEBOOK post 了一个status,说着大人们永远都不会了解我们小孩子们的想法。永远都猜不透我们孩子的心声。也永远听不到我们孩子想要的是什么。

我们不要你们的奖励,我们不要你们的奖赏。

我们需要的,想要的,就是看到你们珍惜我们的样子。听到你为我们拍手,听到你们为我们担心的那把声音。感受那双给我们温暖的一双手。

但是。

16年了。以前说感受到的温柔都不见了。是我这个女儿哪里做错了吗?为什么弟弟妹妹都没有被你们抛下不管呢?会不会是因为我长大了?

但为什么你们都不给我自由。都不给我知道你们是否还有关心我这个大女儿呢?

每天苦读,苦背着那些难懂的FORMULA,拼命地做那些和我不合的数学,高级数学。为了是谁呢?

为了的是让你们放心,你们的女儿长大了。会照顾自己了。

平时做了什么决定,都会三思而后行。为了的是谁呢?

还不是为了你们。

爸,妈。。。

有时候我真的觉得自己是多余的。

如果有一天。我们这一家。。。 忽然间变成4个人。 有你,妈妈,还有弟弟妹妹。没有了我的日子究竟会是怎样的呢?

你们,会比较开心吧?

少了我这个麻烦精。我真的很笨拙,很会花钱,不会精打细算,不会做家务,越帮越忙,是个不够责任感的女儿,成绩也一般般,才华也丢了。

不像弟弟妹妹。。。比我精明。比我还要聪明。不必天天在书桌前琢磨不停。。。就能得到你们的肯定。得到你们的爱。得到你们的关心。

不必伸出手,想你们求情。

在别人的眼里,我真的是外人。在餐厅吃东西时,你们4个人可以很不在乎外人的眼光,可以非常轻松的进餐。不像我。非常在意外人的眼光。。。吃得非常的不自在。不想一家人。。。没有我,你们还是会很开心地继续。没有了我,你们会比较轻松自在,轻松地谈话,不必在乎我这个外人的感受。

不必在乎我这个外人。。。把我这个外人打入冷宫。

不知从何时起。我越来越没有信心了。每次鼓起勇气,想要用自己的方式得到你们的爱,努力地适应你们,不知何时。。。我开始放慢自己的脚步。对自己越来越失望。

我做不到。你们不像参考书里面的习题。有解决的方案。你们真的让我琢磨不清。至于我是不是外人,答案已经很明显。。。

我根本就不适合你们4 个人。4 个人也好。比较温暖。5 个人是个偶数。很奇怪。。。

不知何时,我都不喜欢,别说不喜欢,是不想。。。再努力下去了。

不想再次让自己难堪。

和你们在一起我很辛苦。。。

需要看你们的脸色。一直默默地努力。想要得到你们的肯定。我即使才会做到呢?

以前的信心都跑到哪儿了?

爸妈。对不起。

我,放弃了。

Saturday 12 November 2011

memoir

I really should have an attitude make over.

Maybe a few on the brain, a lot on the heart and a whole ton of botox on the senses.

Nobody’s perfect i admit. But sometimes i feel that i am a really bad creation of God. I simply throw my tempers and always have a swift mood swings and i do things according to my heart.

Which is not always the right thing. People say ‘Follow Ur Heart’ i mean, really? No. What i should be doing is to follow my brain. The sensible and logical brain.

The BRAIN !

That’s why the BRAIN exists. To make us humans think rationally. Why can’t i think rationally?

I learnt MORAL lessons and definitions of RATIONAL BUT I M NOT EVEN RATIONAL WHENEVER IT COMES TO …

Fine. I wont spill everything out i just hope I really can clear my mind and senses whenever it comes to her.

I won’t be in the same class w/ her anyway next year which is a good thing …

WISH FOR DECEMBER :

1. Be more RATIONAL !

Thursday 10 November 2011

everything stays and some were meant to be

The audio players are blaring with the sad melody of a track named “MISS YOU” on the OST of the korean drama ,Stairway To Heaven by a korean singer.

His coarse voice reminded me how it feels to be missing someone in the middle of the night. so silent yet so intoxicating .

It curls up like tendrils binding up all of your intense and all your mild senses.

Each lyrics in that song and the way he sings in pace by pace. It brings me back down memory lane missing every second that I’ve spent with every single person whom i regretted treating badly. My friends, my family members and him, of course.

I might as well thank god deeply for the time the Lord had given me the past 2 weeks, since exam ended.

More time I’ve spent these days , though it might sound boring right here…

But it’s about my milestones in life, right?

Through the days of giving out results of our test papers… Slotted in between will have to be the time i started to appreciate lives of being a secondary student in our sailor blue apron-like pinafore. With matching whites and our sturdy and practical hair cuts… wearing our hearts on our sleeves. We all slacked off together and shared about the things that we dont have time to talk about last time.

I do until, today realized that how great the atmosphere our class is. On the second floor of the 98 building, not too high nor too low. Just  nice. Notice the wind blowing and whenever it stops, we can hear the sounds of the birds chirping in the green meadows. The tree, though chopped down, has been making it’s height higher day by day since February?

November reached and December might not be far. I finally grew to notice the sounds the crickets or any bush creatures make during the late evenings. Around 5 pm when the sun was setting and u can see a tinge of orange from the view of the windows from the very seat in the classroom.

I usually doze off and skipped all of this. Thanks to the other students who made noise woke me up from my nap… which was annoying at first… But i do surely realize, how wonderful the scene is. The combination of sight and sound gave it all in into me. it just sucked within myself.

I breathed in deeply and closed my eyes , trying to remember everything i had today. The sudden silence the kind of tranquility that puts an invisible veil on every single of us. Shutting all of us out from the pavements of grey and all that keyed up tension .

It just drives away the unhappiness and everything that gives u the sad face.

I might not have a proper picture to give you since we’re not allowed to bring in cameras but I will try to take pictures okay ?

Till the time i wouldn’t wish everything to end just right there. I wouldnt want the magic to fade away just like the morning mist that disappears into thin air and evaporates into the sunlight. I wouldn’t want the magic to disappear just like cinderella’s pumpkin vanished in the strike of 12 .

Just the lonely fiddler on the roof playing the tune for someone in mind who doesn’t mind about his existence, yet he is still there … waiting for a miracle to happen.

What we humans aren’t capable of is, to control time. What we are doing for centuries is chasing time second by second… What i’m saying is. I get to know my mother more, by approaching her unlike the times i did previously just talking but what i’ve learnt this week about my family made me a better person.

It isn’t the feeling of getting a new Louis Vuitton bag. It’s the feeling when you felt once you hug onto your teddy bear. The feeling you got when u found a four leaf clover.

I got to know more about my grandparents and other' stories , stories i don’t even have time to hear about before.

Thanks to our badly planned examination time tables… but thank you for the time u provide for me God, thank you very much. i can say i m a very blessed person right now having a mother a father, two siblings and relatives i wish i can keep for the rest of my life.

Appreciate every single day of your life.

Live strong

Live Laugh Love

 

it’s always that word that keeps you till today.

X.

Friday 4 November 2011

new header

Like the golden words that sound like

Everything goes’

from the movie of Indiana Jones sung by the singer in Beijing.

That’s just the perfect line for me to start this blog post. The past few weeks of the tormenting exams had finally came to an end ( 4 days ago) and life could never be better.

I finally had the time to all of myself, not to mention more time on guilty pleasures and more and more of dramas to be watched , i haven’t been really WRITING in a year since January where all the hectic life begins and worsen during mid july as i have to cope between my YE responsibilities, chasing products and marketing , not to mention, the school concert that had ended grandly.

Things all happened in a blink of an eye, i can’t imagine how far i’ve been thru this year. It’s already November, as the calendar goes on day by day , week by week, we finally bade our goodbyes to the half of year that went on well, peacefully? Madly? Surreptitiously chaotic?

What I know was, it wasn’t really some , RELAXING year, i mean hey I’ve turned 16 this past 10 months and having responsibilities as i grew older day by day. Learning and doing endless revisions on the 10 subjects that never fails to disappoint me .

N finally now, where all the exams OFFICIALLY ENDED, i had all the time i need.

Time to update my status on Facebook

Time to reply comments

Time to rearrange my book shelves

Time to pack up stuff to move into our new house

Time to exercise

Time to have a good dinner night out with my family

More time for shopping

Time for me to sit down and lay back with a cup of 3in1 coffee

Time for me to read the fashion magazine

Time to admire my wardrobe of clothes…

Time to play online games

Time to update my iOs5

SEE?

these are the things i’ve left out during the 11 months

Whatever i knew was, STUDY.

studying on the 10 subjects, oh god. how boring i’ve been living my life.

But now it’s time for me to relax. Next year won’t be easy on me.

Graduation

SPM

College

what’s next?

FIND