the light years ahead

Let’s say about the facts./

I had been… wasting my time…… for the past 2 months doing exceptionally nothingg at all at home slacking off waking up late and whatever.

But say what you want to say but I think I might as well enjoy the time I am having at home doing nothing having to worry about nothing at all.

I had accomplished of course in my opinion…… a few things that doesn’t even concern you…..

The reason of this post…. is to tell you that I don’t give a fuck about what people might think of me or what they might think of someone they want me to be. which I wont .

I wont be someone that expectation and what society wants. I am the person I am today all because I have freewill. I have the will to do something I want and to own something and to think things I want .

I have the right to dream.

in fact. everybody just had the moment to shine……

I finally had the chance when JPA shortlisted me for the interview back in last Thursday at permatang pauh UiTM.

This made me realise I was one step closer to my dreams. I am serious. I can feel that everyone really wanted to go to the country they picked and so do I !

I always wanted a change in an environment. Not that I hated this place, it’s just I don’t like the feeling of being stucked and doing things so normal that it sickens me!

I don’t want to be in some fancy college that everybody goes to and…. well be lost in life.

I wanted to go out there to search who I wanted to be in the future.

You all might think that I got it all in my fingertips but to be honest. I don’t .

I don’t !

Who knows that I might be someone that I never thought of one day?

It’s this time in the world when u realised that you are 18!

OFFICIALLY LEGAL

but yet you don’t have the MONEY you don’t have the POWER and POSITON at all……..

Then u dropped yourself underneath your parents… for they are the ones that set up a future for you. A path for you…..

I thank my parents you know but sometimes I just feel that….. I am not happy

I am not complaining about my house or the fact that I don’t have an iphone… *the last one cracked and smashed by myself*

I am saying that I am not sure of who I want in this year.

I am sorry I failed you MARCH, APRIL…. May… MAY!!! IS COMING LIKE IN 4 DAYS YET I DON’T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING RESOLUTION FOR … 2013.

What am I lookin forward to???

Just…

I felt so lost.

I am like so lost in a sea of reality.

you see.

that’s….

just the problem at the moment.

Toodles.

x

 

magic in me

song of the day- The One- (that winter the wind blows OST)

did it ever occur to you in someways a people grow up and nevertheless cared so much as they do before?

I realized that the inner me inside has been constantly changing and giving me so much thoughts I should to focus more on myself and not on people that doesn’t matter that much.

before all of this, I used to care a lot

I care about attention and having them back in an amount I desired. But expectations lead to disappointments and yes I get regrets and denial in return. In some ways I think why don’t people really care of maintaining a friendship …

and why do people always get things the way they want by pushing others away just to gain success.

If success by means to push away your closed friend then I don’t think its success at all. Success doesn’t need you to leave anyone in a mean way, yes if it’s a sacrifice but you can always come back to them as long as they stil MATTER to you.

Which I don’t, matter to you.

That’s is just something I don’t get.

But since you left me.

Then I have no choice to leave u as well.

X