ikr

i know this is random but.

i had to update my blog

yes ursula from the little mermaid

the evil one who made ariel lost her voice, and almost lost her prince

fuckyouursula.

fml

I never liked the word fml. in fact idk why i m using this word at the moment. and i m not afraid to tell you that i’ve tried killing myself several times. and ive been thinking of that thought almost every second of the day. every minute every second and now, the moment i m typing this. and why would i do that? life seems to be harsh. very harsh i mean. god put me in a kind of situation until i cant breathe. theres never a moment i can give a halt to every thing in life. sometimes i stayed up late, thinking and thinking, have a lot of thoughts all jumbled up. i like looking for movies or any chick flick rom coms to make me feel better. but it doesnt. it might, for several days, but, i never find an aid to mend my fucked up life. yess. i tried being positive. i tried talking to jesus. but , none of them worked. i tried reaching out to my friends. but , they arent that much of a big help. i had insomnia, and i slept late and woke up late the next morning. the moment i wake up, i wanted to might as well die in the spot. i dont want everyday to start. i hate mornings. i hate the evenings. most of all i think i hate life. yes i can be hyper in front of my friends. what you see isnt what you know. i might be okay whenever u talk to me. but whenever everyones not looking at me, i might be the saddest and most miserable person in the world. my mom, first of all, never , really understands my problem,she had a successful career, with her handphone beeping all of the time, she never REALLY LISTENS to whatever i m facing. and i told HER ALL THE TIME. but . in the end of the day she asked me, WHY ARENT U HAPPY.

okay. fuck her. really. like, fuck. i told her that i m tired of all of this. the whole REACH OUT WHEN U NEED HELP thing sucks. i might be fortunate to have a family or having friendss and food and water and shelter. but i do understand why people end their lives.

they reached out..

but. there wasnt anyone.

well. my best friend, left me.

i had friends, in fact a whole lot of them bt most of the time. i m lonely. i dont feel like i belong to the crowd. yes. i laughed but whatever shit i m inside? i joke, but i dont like the way i joke when im already too miserable to ‘joke’.

my ex hated me for already 2 years, and i dont even know the reasons. my social life dropped from miss popularity into, a bitch. okay. or….. i havent been flirting in , a year. that makes me a NERD.  i read , to make myself happy.

at least reading gives me a peace of mind, and maybe reading makes me know why i am and what i m capable of.

whenever theres a happy moment, theres always something there to ruin it. its always like that. i mean. why . isnt life suppose to be wonderful? okay yes, i need to suck it all up and move on. yes. people move on. people dont really see ur scars and what they care of is themselves. not us. we wont be the miserable one forever. telling someone how miserable you are wont help it.

the thing is. i m sick of it. i m tired. i really am. why am i typing this? its because nobody knows me. my best friend dont wanna pick up my call. who can i turn to ? the counsellor?

my mom? no .

my dad? maybe. but , still no.

my friendS?

no .

now all i have is myself.

maybe i can make it through at the end of the day

but . i know , it’s never gonna be okay. maybe i m in a typical teenager life. and teenagers do have, issues. maybe i m the unlucky one. sometimes i wonder why. and why. those people out there are so shiny like they never been through this shit hole. they dressed well. they eat well. they lived a high profile life. i want to be part of them. at least thats what i used to be, BEFORE. but what about now? what about the future?

damn. i m so intimidated of tomorrow. i dont want tomorrow to come. …

fuck.

 

 

 

 

forever young

i m not saying that i m young, or old.

i just wish that i really can be forever young.

think about the places we can go

and the things we wish that we could do and we might as well make our dreams come true.

how i wish

i can be as, confident as the jenners

that still and calm ways whenever she goes out

and how confidently with her style of dressing

the way they cam whore.

the way they were in sweats

not needing to wear juicy sweats but in ordinary sweats looking so fab.

i mean look at her.

how she poses in front of the cam with kim kadarshian

how cute is she with that game

how she models.

they are who they are.

they are the person they want to remember

the person that they wanted to be.

how i like the wayshe smiles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

x

ours

this is us.

the very retarded duo.'

zoe wong .

venetia wong

we used to fight like bitches and curse each other to hell last time. but that’s what left us from the past.

how cute of us.

we finally are friends back this year. i dont know how and i dont know why.

but its how life is.

what she took with her LOMO app on her iphone4

that lady haz iphone 4 so dont mess with her

LOL

thiss post will be filled with pictures!

vanity.

 

somehow i really loved what life brought me till here.

i had a lonely valentine. but i never DID have one thiss year i had them.

THIS POST will be about them i met this whole 2 months.

Now updatess on saturday on xiaodong’s house warming

:)

it was a fun night we did lots of talking and rubbish

what a cute effect suggested by i this was an epic fail by qinling.

spot my iphone and purse :)

we all looked so happy

jinpei, huaywei,shiyi,shuyee and me :)

yes our big family <3

and my pose :)

:)

i drank shandy the first time with them :)

and gambled and lost lots with them

:)

look at all of our cacat face!

i love them !they gave me the best for these 2 months.

they gave me whatever that’s been lost within me.

for whatever ive been up to today :

EXPERIMENTING:

 

for our annual school food fair.

what r we doing

ICE BLENDED.

with lots of drinks.

coffee mocha, latte, honey wheatgrass (a blast), mango+lychee, ribena + 100 plus.

and root beer+ float.

and it was a total success.

so stay tuned for saturday !

 

and more camwhorism

 

 

whatever life brings us i hope the best for you.

youknowwhouare.

x.

ps. i love you

 

 

 

 

 

ohmymymymy

 

TENSION

HEATING UP

x

gi top tumblr doodle

happy 164th birthday to THOMAS ALVA EDISON

oh well i just have to thank google and twitter if there isnt a doodle or a trending topic on twitter i wouldn’t have give a shit of a scientist’s invention which i wouldnt even care to realize but hey

this is thomas edison

the guy that gave us light and showed us the way.

so yes, i am gonna have to tribute a post of him here.

and now for, my post

A day at school G-RI-Top version:)

gdtybb:

Waking up in the morning like:

On the bus to school while caffeined up:

First period:

Second period:

Third period:

Break:

Hanging out with all your friends:

Seeing some bitch in the hallway:

Back to class:

Rest of classes:

Waiting for last bell:

Last bell rings, go home to tumblr like:

that probably jumbles up what the hell my week’s like

ohwell activity tomorrow

:(

X

blablabla

Chinese new year wasn’t fun at ALL.

found couple of people sending wishes while my phone only vibrate occassionally.

each hour only comes in 2 or 3.

while my mom’s rang like shit until she had to turn it off. well , why is my mom more popular than me ?

cant believe that

even so a lot of people complained about the boredom cny brought along the week.

Let’s not think bout that.

School’s reopened and its currently the second day at school

and hell i hated it as much as how i hate selena gomez

I dont understand why i cant seem to sleep early as i slept on CNY maybe the mood is heating up and i hate life. because whenever life knew i will be having school or tuition afterwards, it pops up this good online book or game or DRAMA or MOVIES to lure me

and yes i slept at 4.50 am on the night before school and woke up at 11 thank god mom was on leave that day or else yes i would maybe die due to lack of sleep and the undensed oxygen in my brain.

oh well.

these are the movies i watched.

shit, constantine is loading at the moment on PPS

yes

JIM fucking STURGESS a brit who acted as a boston teenager studying in MIT

in a movie called

21

about how a couple of math geniuses including JIM heading to LAS VEGAS to play blackjack through card counting.

really an interesting movie and how math really can make money for you !

and

PS I LOVE YOU

based on the best selling novel by

CECELIA AHERN

starring

GERARD BUTLER n HILARY SWANK

its a movie bout love and about giving away someone you love

When Gerry (butler) , Holly’s husband died of brain tumor at young age, leaving Holly alone. which is wrong

“I don’t know, maybe your being punished for something, being too happy? Being too beautiful? God is a jealous person”

“I am not too happy and I am not beautiful”

“I think you’re hawt! … Sorry, I have a syndrome

Gerry prepared a few letters on her birthday one by one guiding her and telling her the things she doesn’t know.

i know it might be saddening since someone DIED in the movie but i found it ‘s different from any melo-dramatic movies, it really is SAD but not, crying- SAD SAD.

“If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes.”

—
Ps I love you- last letter

 

i learnt a lot and began to appreaciate the person around me, coz when someone die, it means they are forever gone .

Now alone or not, you gotta walk ahead. The thing to remember is; if we’re all alone, then we’re all together in that too.

forever, i mean

 

dear holly,

i don’t have much time. i don’t mean literally, i mean you’re out buying ice cream and you’ll be home soon. but i have a feeling this is the last letter, i’m not going to tell you to go down memory lane, or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. its to tell me how much you moved me, how you changed me. you made me a man by loving me holly, and for that i am eternally grateful..literally. if you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure or you lose complete faith, try and see yourself through my eyes. thankyou for the honour of being my wife, i am a man with no regrets, how lucky am i? you made my life holly, but i’m just one chapter in yours, there’ll be more, i promise. so here it comes, the big one. don’t be afraid to fall in love again. watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends.

P.S, i will always love you.

 

so here’s a shoutout.

i love you.