then again, the late night thoughts

Hello, nightcrawlers…

i cant find a way to tuck myself into bed at this moment, times like this make me ponder on life’s greatest questions and wonders. Then i will try to reflect it on myself, seeing whether am i the person i wanted to be, in the future or what

Like they say, growing up is a way of welcoming responsibilities and … knowing how harsh reality can be. And i am literally biting my fingers off to make myself feel calm when questions about the future came pounding on the door of my mind. Why should i be giving myself so much pressure?

But since we are still young, but i couldnt be sure whether if 19 is counted as young, cos look at all the young gymnasts out there already making their print in part of history. Am I sure i wanted to imprint myself on the world? Or should i just live life humbly like what Gandhi and Buddhism said, is to be humble and not too show-off. But, i think if everyone chose to live life in the simplest and safest way as possible, why will there be skyscrapers, why would there be so many indifferent and unique talents showcasing ?

What if, people limit themselves…. there is no reason why one should limit themselves. Speaking of which… why am i limiting myself?

it’s like life is a 50 50 thing, it just matters on how much would u wanna fill up the chances of 50 50. If someone only invests 10 percent, they would only gain back the 10 percent, I am not a faith believer in luck or miracles, yes i might sound too realistic but it’s true . Since young i held a basis of thought that, only having full preparation for school exams, only then i can count myself as LUCKY because i had already built myself a foundation in order.. to reach the thing we all called LUCK.

Now I am only left with so little time to deal with studies and friends, and i feel so messed up and the hours in a day are not even enough.

What should i do?

TROUBLED, x